When you feel like you’re failing at life…

None of us have ever questioned ourselves right? I mean, that never happens. Ever. Yeah right! We all go through times when we are unsure. We’re unsure of our next move, unsure if we made the right decision from the last move, and if you’re like me when I’m extra existentially stressed out, you may even be unsure if you’re even doing the right thing with your entire life! Look, it happens! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! But when those times come, it’s so important to pause and reset before you continue down a rabbit hole of professional despair.

Here are some tips to affirm up your foundation

1.) Remember why you started. I say this often but I am bound by my “why”. Why did I decide on the things in life I chose? Why did I say yes in the first place? Why was this so important? And when the going gets rough and the rough gets pretty darn disgusting, I remember my “why”. My “why” is that I believe in the work that I do to my core. I know it makes a difference. I know I have the skills, personality, and strength that it takes to really make an impact. The return on the investment is so very high and I wouldn’t want to be in any other career (unless it was a professional Broadway actress. I’d sign up for that!) Bottom line is, even when it’s tough, I know I am both blessed and equipped to do what I do and remembering that keeps me going.  What’s your “why”? What’s the reason you began?

2.) Learn to manage your expectations. Okay so, if anyone owns the mantra with a tshirt and a tag line of “I am woman, hear me roar” it’s me. I drank the kool-aid. I believe we can do anything and everything. And we can! But maybe we need to reevaluate whether we can do anything and everything all at once. Chances are, human limitations will get in the way of trying to boil an ocean or eat an elephant! Pace yourself! You have your whole career to accomplish your goals, so don’t expect for it to happen overnight and give yourself the grace to ramp up. I like to focus on progress. It keeps me sane!

3.) Find your own definition of success. When I was in grad school, a peer told me I seemed like the type that would only focus on my career rather on a relationship. Notice how I said this was a peer and not a friend! Fast forward to modern times when it seems as if society tells you something is wrong with you if you aren’t married by x age or have kids by y age. As if nothing else you do matters because you’ve failed on your objective as a woman. My response to that… do not let the world decide what success looks like for you. You decide. If success means that you successfully keep your lights on and your bills paid, girl celebrate that! Eat cake too! Sometimes success is as small as managing a work relationship well or as big as landing that promotion. Whatever it is, it’s up to you! Not your peers, not your parents, not what is happening in the world around you. And if you focus on your definition (as well as your “why”), you will kiss that funk goodbye!

4.) Rest. It’s so important to find rest and stillness. I call them “me” days. Sometimes I just take off of work and sit in silence because it grounds me and reminds me to look for peace inwardly. I find a lot of joy in music, yet my guitar sits idly buy while I fill days with more and more stuff. However, when I get the chance to spend time with the people or things that I love, it’s cathartic in nature. What energizes you? Is it yoga (yoga puts me to sleep, but more power to you yogis!) Maybe it’s hanging out with your close friends or listening to good music. Whatever it is, make time for the things that bring you joy. Those things bring you back to your center and can energize you to seize another day.

Just remember that whatever you’re going through is a challenge. It isn’t defeat. You got this, girl!

 

Let us know your thoughts. What do you do to reset?

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